Thoughts on...Turning 27.
Hello beautiful people! I hope you're having an amazing week so far. I'm actually writing this post in advance because we are currently on a quick vacation in Vermont. I'm so SO excited for some downtime and also a break from my phone and laptop - a digital detox if you will.
Today I was thinking about what it means to be getting older//wanting to be "established" and I felt compelled to write it all out. I celebrated a birthday last month, and in my 27 years I feel like I've been through a lot, and at the same time, not a lot at all. I feel like I've had accomplishments that I'm really proud of, and yet haven't gotten to exactly where I want to be. I feel like I have friends that I connect deeply with, but that I don't have "enough" of them, whatever "enough" even means.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think EVERYONE struggles with these feelings of not being enough, feelings of having not made it "far" enough, and feeling unsure and unsteady a lot of the time. I certainly do. But I think what I've learned most in the past year (as annoyingly cliche as this sounds) is to be comfortable with getting out of my comfort zone.
Even from a younger age, I've ALWAYS gotten the lay of the land before diving right in. I have a hard time with being spontaneous - I love to know what I'm in for, and I love to prepare myself. Because of this, I've put off pursuing things that I knew that I'll be passionate about, because it wasn't the "perfect" time and it felt uncertain. Like starting this blog - it has never felt like the perfect time, the perfect name, the perfect pictures, or the perfect topics that I want to write about.
This year felt different. This year, I quit my job, I started putting myself first. This year, I said "screw it" and just DID IT! I started this blog while working a busy 9-5, I started an amazing podcast that's given me the AMAZING opportunity to connect with so many beautiful people on a deep level. I'm really proud. But at the same time, I'm still not content and I'm still striving for more -- more contentment in my day job, more gratitude, more satisfaction, more control over my schedule.
This is where gratitude comes in. On my birthday next year, I want to look back and think about how I practiced gratitude where where I'm at, and where I'd like to be in the future. Instead of waking up and dreading the work day, I want to focus on being grateful for the opportunities that it affords me. Ultimately everything is temporary, and one day I'll get to where I want to be - might as well be grateful and joyful along the way.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that my 27th year was HUGE for me - and for anyone out there who has even a glimmer of wanting something more or wanting to go for something completely different and outside of what their "norm" is - DO IT! Just do it. There will NEVER be a perfect time, and it will ALWAYS be challenging at first, but the reward is amazing.
I hope that these rambles made some sense - birthdays just make me reflect and take a step back. I love you guys, and I hope that whatever year you're in, that you're still growing and achieving everything you hoped and more.